Take Me, Lord

Father, here I am in need of grace

I've been holding back from You
There's a part of me I didn't want You to see
But now I need to give it all to You

So, take me, Lord, all I am
I lay it down before Your throne
Save me, Lord, from all my sin
Fill me up with life again

Lord, I need You
Lord, I need You, only You can satisfy
Lord, I trust You
Lord, I trust You, in Your will for my life

Even though I know that Jesus lives
I don't see much change in my life
I still hope in what this world can give
Lord, help me love Your glory not mine

So, take me, Lord, all I am
I lay it down before Your throne
Save me, Lord, from all my sin
Fill me up with life again

Lord, I need You
Lord, I need You, only You can satisfy
Lord, I trust You
Lord, I trust You, in Your will for my life

Jesus, Jesus, holy faithful God
My Savior, the Shepherd of my soul
Jesus, Jesus, sovereign gracious God
My hope forevermore


Many thanks to God and to my brother, Chris, and sister, Natasha.

Game Elements in Run, Lola Run

Run, Lola Run was the first movie I have ever watched that was basically a game through the movie medium. Along with a game-like soundtrack, the makers of Run, Lola Run incorporated many game elements in the film. I will focus on the three elements of game in the film that struck me the most: an objective, a set of skills for each character, and multiple outcomes depending on time.

Like most arcade-like games, Run, Lola Run started by showing you the different characters you could be. Then, it presented the players with a problem and a mission to solve that problem. In this case, Lola’s problem was that her boyfriend, Manni, lost 100,000 marks that he needed to pay to a mob boss who would kill him if he didn’t. And Lola’s mission was to get the money and reach Manni in 20 minutes, at which time he would rob a grocery store and have to face the thugs.

Lola also had a set of skills and abilities that she used at various times on her mission. She was able to run, typical of most games in which you play as a character. And she could jump and later “leveled-up” to using a gun. Her “superpower”, however, was her scream, which enabled her to break glass, frighten people, and win a game of roulette.

Finally, the movie had three different outcomes, all depending on Lola’s timing through her journey to reach Manni. In the first “game life”, Lola did not reach Manni in time and was killed. In the second, Lola robbed her supposed father’s bank, made it to Manni in time, but because of the new timing of events, Manni was run over by an ambulance. In the third life, Lola ended up gambling and winning 100,000 marks, made it to Manni in time, but by then, Manni had been able to run down the bum who had his money and pay the thugs. In games, particularly games where you play a character with a mission to accomplish, timing can make the difference between winning and losing and also how one reaches that outcome.

For me, these game elements in Run, Lola Run made it seem more interactive. I began to think like a gamer, trying to figure out how the change in timing and skills sets would affect the success of Lola's mission. This higher level of interaction and even emotional connection while watching the film make Run, Lola Run an excellent example of the power of crossing between different types of media to tell a story.

Lovely birthday message from my mom

Narrated by me. :) Hahahaha, I love my mom.

Narrative arc in American Soap Operas: A Comparison of Two Episodes from Gossip Girl and General Hospital

I recently asked my mom if she knew of a good soap opera to watch, and she immediately suggested “As the World Turns” and began reminiscing about the “old days” when she would watch every new episode in sequence. Even now, people follow soap operas on a regular basis. What makes these television programs special that people would be drawn to the television week after week? Perhaps the answer lies within a soap opera “story formula” analogous to the one for a hero’s journey as expounded by James Campbell. I hope to probe into this possible explanation by comparing the common themes between individual episodes of Gossip Girl (GG) and General Hospital (GH) in American soap operas.

At first glance, GG and GH are very different shows. The first focuses on the drama in the lives of wealthy teenagers at a private school in Manhattan. The latter is about the lives of several families and their relations. However, a closer look shows very basic similarities, such as the use of multiple storylines and the interconnectedness of all the characters and how it affects their actions and decisions in life.

The pilot episode of GG starts out by presenting the viewer with a compelling unknown. Why did Serena, popular rich girl at school, leave for boarding school last year? Why did she return to Manhattan? Similarly, in the second episode of the 48^th season of General Hospital, viewers are immediately faced with several questions: will Sonny be convicted for Claudia’s murder? Will Dante and Lucky figure out who really beat Kristina? Both GG and GH start their episodes with a question to be answered during the episode or season.

Conflicts arise almost immediately in the stories, and for GG and GH, they have mostly to do with character relationships. In GG, there is an obvious friendship and power struggle between Selena and Blair from the start. And in GH, there are conflicts between Kristina, her family, her boyfriend, Keifer, who beat her, the family of the boy she blamed, Ethan. There is also the conflict of Sonny being convicted for a murder that his son, Michael, actually committed. All of these dramatic elements serve to hook the viewer into the story.

Finally, there is always a resolution to at least one of the multiple storylines. GG wraps up the mystery of Serena’s unannounced disappearance and reappearance by the end of the first episode, revealing her secret relationship with Blair’s boyfriend. The end of the episode of GH shows Keifer beating Kristina and then being seen by her mother. This wraps up the question of whether Keifer will be caught and Ethan’s name cleared. However, both shows leave the viewer with a new unknown for one of the storylines. In GG, we still do not know if Blair and Serena will become friends again. We also know that there is a sparking romance between Serena and Dan, but we don’t know if it will last. Similarly, in GH, we don’t know if Kristina is still alive or if Maxie will be able to stall her witness account long enough for the truth about Sonny and Michael to remain a mystery to the jury by the end of the episode.

Both GG and GH use multiple storylines and follow the narrative arc of unknown, conflict, resolution, and cliffhanger. This cycle of story seems to play a significant role in the keeping viewers engaged and following these soap operas.

In "The Flow"

I was once a Neopets addict. The cute virtual pets and arcade-style games were what drew me in at first, but they were not what kept me playing. Although I did play Meerca Chase everyday, I spent most of my time on the message boards, looking for role-playing games to play with other people online. One particular role-playing game comes to mind. The basic guideline for the story was high school drama, and I, being a 12-year-old junior high school girl, was instantly intrigued. I joined the conversation, convinced all the people joining that I was "literate", and somehow managed to weasel my way into the role of female protagonist. I played the shy, not-so-popular girl who had a huge crush on the high school football quarterback. It was quite amazing how playing that part in the RPG captured my attention so completely. I did not bother to eat until we had reached the end of the story. By then, the football quarterback had gone psychotic and run around the school with a gun because he was so in love with my character but didn't know how to express his feelings in a less dramatic way.

I think that there are several reasons why participating in this particular RPG put me within "the flow":

• it involved some literary skill, but was not too difficult that I would have to edit and re-edit my posts.
• it involved social interaction, particularly the goal of impressing the other participants.
• it allowed me to have some control over the storyline
• it provided me with instant feedback from other players.
• it gave me an intrinsic satisfaction in having enjoyed and been part of creating a good story, which is related to Csikszentmihalyi's conception of an "autotelic" personality.

These five reasons are also found within Larazzo's article, Why We Play Games. In this article, Larazzo explains that helping people get in "the flow" while gaming depends on 4 Keys: Hard fun, easy fun, altered states, and the People Factor. In my experience with the RPG, I was challenged, but not frustrated. I experienced the emotions my character would have experienced when she found out her crush was literally crazy for her, and even forgot my own real needs in the process, such as food. And the People Factor was obviously important to my experience in "the flow". Larazzo takes the concept of "the flow" and shows how gaming helps people achieve it.

iPad...the next big thing?

My brother seems to think so....

New Year's Resolutions

In just the first week of 2010, I've felt like I have little direction and purpose in what I'm doing. Yes, I am working toward medical school and getting my major requirements done. And yes, I'm doing research to discover new ways to treat bacterial infections. But what is it all for, really, if God isn't in it? I don't want my life to be meaningless, but that's exactly what it is without God.

I mentally made a note of these resolutions before the new year, but I want to put them down in writing and deliberately ask God to make them worthwhile.

Resolution #1: Gain 10 pounds. (People say I'm a little underweight, and I think it's true....my BMI is 18.5. This is a really hard one for me.)

Resolution #2: Go on facebook on Friday nights and Saturdays only. (So far so good...)

Resolution #3: Spend quiet time in the mornings with God, submitting the whole rest of the day to Him. (I want to try to be a little more creative with these things. I definitely want to continue prayer journaling and reading the Bible, but more consistently. And maybe try writing poems, singing praises, and drawing pictures to God.)

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please be gracious to me as you always have been, and help me fulfill these New Year's resolutions in order to bring glory to Your name.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen